you do not mysteriously just wake up wet, you fucking pissed yourself
yes, your dumb ass friend was probably here at some point
shockingly, you can't remember the events of last night that, unfortunately for me, led you to my house
the drugs you lost are estimated at $200
you anticipate the music festival you are going to will be awesome and you plan on taking more drugs
you call your friend to talk about what a crazy night that was
rumor has it there is a puddle of piss in the kitchen
all are unresponsive to me yelling 'shut the fuck up' from my room
and again, despite your inability to accept it, all evidence proves you peed my female housemate's bed
